On having doubts

I guess it’s normal, these things happen. You work your ass off on a project, and even if you love it, sometimes you get a little tired of it.

lulu fashion coach
I wanted a picture that represented my mood. This one will do

Let me tell you, it’s a piece of work to come up, 5 days a week, with ideas for new articles. And when I write, I don’t want to talk about what the other people are talking about. I don’t want to write something that my readers can find in the magazine or in 10 other websites. I don’t want to write something stupid just to “post” something. I don’t want to write about an event or a product if I wasn’t seduced by it.

I want to write something actually interesting. Or at least I’m trying. I also try to be funny and not too serious about it, we’re just talking clothes here. We’re talking express yourself and having fun with it. I’m trying to put myself out there, whatever it is that I’m writing about, I want to have my own point of view and my way of seeing things. That’s what makes the difference. For me.

Sadly, I don’t feel like it’s a common way of thinking around here. Bloggers are writing stuff that know will please the PR Agencies, and like that, make sure to be invited to the following events. Bloggers are kissing asses to make sure they will get that so wanted collaboration.

Is anyone trying to be themselves anymore? Is it a bad thing to actually say what you really think? Is it bad to have a point of view? It clearly makes you different, I’ve realize that for a while now (all my life for that matter). But isn’t that what having fun with your clothes is? Be different?

Or maybe for some of the bloggers, it is to be like everyone else. Follow the rules dictated by fashion. I’ve actually never thought about it, but it just crossed my mind while writing this article. And honestly it freaks the hell out of me.

My passion for fashion, but mostly for clothing as always been to have fun with my outfits, and express myself. Represent myself, and showing a part of my personality. And that’s also the way I see, and act for the rest of my blog. I may sometimes have less collaborations, less invitations, less presents than others, and let’s be honest, for the amount of work I put into this, it feels very frustrating at times (just before anyone misunderstand what I’m saying – it happened in the past – it’s definitly not the reason why I have this blog. Though, I believe frustartion can be normal because as I said, LOTS of work is being put into this). But I know I stay true to myself.

I know I’m being very negative right now, I’m sorry, I hate it. I just can’t help the way I feel. And I find it so hard to post lately (especially outfit post – they’re not interesting because hidden under tons of layers).

Maybe I’m just depressed by the end of winter… Spring, hurry up!

16 Comments

  • I get you girl! i have the same problem with my style, i do not have a popular style, so i am not that popular. i do want to show the world something unique, but the blog scene is not about being unique. there are only two girls who succeeded in being unique and popular (the man repeller and susie bubble). so you are in some kind of dilemma, and stats are the cause.
    and there is something else that strikes me, blogging and belgium are not a match made in heaven! look at the dutch girls, how their relationship with the press is! we are going to need them, but they don’t want us.

    • That’s exactly it! It upsets me so much sometimes! There are so much things going wrong about blogging in Belgium, I wish we could do something about it!
      I adore The Man Repeller and Susie Bubble, and I think they had the change to start blogging in countries (and especially cities) that were more:
      1- developped around blogging
      2- definitly more open minded!

      So, what’s our solution uh?

    • I agree with what Mrs K is saying but I think it’s possible to enjoy blogging, have a great relationship with your readers and not be the most popular one.

      Maybe my point of view is a bit different because as a plus size blogger, there are basically no opportunity for me in Belgium to work with brands. So I blog for me and to share with people. The day I won’t enjoy doing that anymore, is the day I’ll stop blogging.

      I think you should just stay true to yourself and maybe not look at your stats etc 🙂

      • I wasn’t talking about my stats though 🙂 it was just a little frustration about how things go and work around the blogosphere.
        I still love blogging, and I’m definitly not stopping.
        I guess it’s normal to have a few doubts from time to time 🙂

  • I think you’re completely right! Honestly, while i dont love everything you post, i always thought there was so much more honesty and fun about you … So much more than lots of other blogs! I might not like everything but i truly applaud you for staying true to yourself and just have fun with clothes. I’ve been checking out a lot of new ‘up and coming’ blogs and i must say im so not impressed. While a lot of those girls have some style and class and dress conventionally well, it just seems like à lot of them just copypasted outfits from zara, other blogs and magazines. I mean how often will i get to see the usual black leather pants/skirt, white flowy blouse, golden accessories and néon bag? Nothing crazy or experimenting, its dissappointing!

    • Many thanks! It feels great to read that. Even if you don’t like everything I post or wear, I guess that’s the price to pay when dressing a little different.
      It feels so good though that you can feel my honesty and the fun I have through my posts.

  • It’s very difficult finding a balance between staying true to yourself and being “popular” (with readers, with pr,…) It’s definitely a very frustrating thing. And sometimes it just becomes too much… There’s nothing wrong with saying that from time to time 🙂 You’ll get trough it and find a new breath of inspiration! xx

  • Hey girl, I read about your frustrations and I wanted to say how much I feel you. I’ve been there before, and I thought I might offer some advice. I think that you could easily re-orient your thinking to suit your needs as well as “PR” needs. I noticed, a big factor in the disagreement (if you could call it that) is your desire to be recognized on your own, unique and markedly original terms; you don’t want to be writing about what everyone else is writing about. As a struggling writer I can tell you with certainty that while originality is something all artists strive for, it also can be a little blinding and, if it is your complete goal, a hindrance. The solution is to (a) think about it in terms of “spontaneity” rather than originality; that is to say, listen to yourself openly, rather than systematically filtering out unoriginal or already-thought-of thoughts. Also, (b) you can think about your readership, and how you want to address the broad spectrum of needs or issues both you and they deal with. While I think you already do this eloquently, it’s just to suggest as a piece to meditate on; in order to transcend the everyday or the trivial, you must first address it.

    I hope this was helpful. Truthfully these ramblings helped me realize what I have to do in the essay I’m currently avoiding writing! Hope all is well with you chickie, xxoo

    • KATIE! Thanks for such great advices 🙂
      I’m always writing spontaneously, about how I feel things, about what excites me. That’s what drives me to continue this blog. I just realized (and not only since the blog, way before that) that people find me, my clothing or my writing original, wierd or crazy. I deel with it, and have fun because of it. But that’s definitly not what drives me.
      Though, I’ll think about what you said, I think there are some really great tips right there!

  • I totally get how you feel. When I first started as a blogger, my blog was more of a news blog and contact with pr was necessary for me to keep up with everything that was going on. Now that there are ten times as much blogs in Belgium and everyone seems to be blogging about the same things I had to change my blog into a more personal one to keep me motivated, even though exposing myself on the internet made me very anxious.. and it still does sometimes. And even now it’s still hard to find the right balance between writing about myself and the things I love, and trying to be unique. A lot of the times I am really excited about a collection or event, but once I notice there are a lot of people that have already written about it, I wonder if I should write about it. It puzzles me every day.

    But it’s important to keep in mind the problems you’re referring to exist in the entire blogosphere, not only within Belgium, and also within the top tier bloggers. (Apparently the newest thing is to buy expensive gear and pretend you’ve received it from a brand in order to look appealing for other brands. Like wtf?) I believe collaborations are necessary for business (if doing business a part of your blog’s goal) and it’s something that can stand in the way of creativity. It’s up to the blogger to put their foot down and find a way to make it work.

    • I’ll do my best, because part of my blog is also a business.
      BTW I can’t believe what you said about the bloggers buying expensive stuff to look appealing, that’s just INSANITY!

  • Blogging is a such complicated thing! Like you, I want to write about things I find interesting and that you can’t find just opening a magazine or browsing the web. I like to try new things, I’m doing it a lot and it seems that my readers know very well that side of me and they ask for articles. When I’m receiving a beauty box and not writing about it like in 5 days, I’m thinking “ok now it’s too late to write about that, you just have to type the name of the box on Hellocoton and you find tons of articles about it” BUT my readers still ask me to write about it. They want my opinion. That’s something I really needed time to understand. I couldn’t believe that my opinion was such interesting to them but it seems that it is. And still today, I sometimes need to force me to write about something because it will interest some of my readers even if I’m thinking at first that is totally not useful.

    I really like your blog because we can “feel” that you’re having fun doing in and your honesty. They are a lot of fashion blogs that are doing a really good work, pictures, writing, creativity but with clothes or things that brands send to them. So even if they’re doing a good job, they missed the most important part of the blogging experience (I think) is : find the idea.

    They are some popular blogs that are not totally invested by brands so keep faith, and keep the good work!

    • Thanks for your comment! I’m so glad you can feel my fun and honesty, it means so much to me.
      I’m actually really glad to read your comment because I never thought of it that way, but I can believe my readers would want sometimes to have my own point of view on things and products. Thank you for bringing that up 😉

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